Why I Write
Someone asked me this question recently: why do you write? The context was that I was brainstorming where I want my writing to go, where I want to focus in the new year. And the first thing that came to mind was that I write to connect with others. I remember seeing a romance writers’ panel a few years ago at a book festival where one of the panelists said that since she had been published, she had never felt more connected, to other writers, to readers, to the world, and I thought that’s what I want.
I have felt alone for most of my life. There are likely a lot of reasons for this, and yes I am in therapy, recovery, all the things to deal with this, and there are short periods of time where I have had this feeling less, but it seems to be a salient feature of my existence. If the myth of the lonely, isolated writer was true, then writing would probably just reinforce that lonely feeling, but instead, I write in the hope that someday I will be read, that what I write will help me connect, and that might serve as a balm for this persistent feeling of aloneness with which I seem to walk through the world.
One of the beautiful things about writing community is that you can have that even if you are never published, possibly even if you never actually write. It is something that is open to anyone who has an interest in writing, in connecting with others who see the world through the lens of stories and language. I am currently connected to SIX writing communities, most of these are formal groups, so clearly I am pretty serious about this idea of connecting with other writers.
I also recently did a little analysis of all of the good decisions I have made in my life (to counter my running script that I only make bad decisions), and everything I have done that I don’t regret falls into three categories: decisions related to writing, decisions related to spirituality, and decisions related to travel. The thing that is inherent in all three of those categories is that all of them connect me with others, bring me into community, allow me to meet new people, allow for connection.
This is why, when I am trying to chart my path as a writer, the first question I ask myself is: what is going to help me connect with other writers and with readers? I think this is why I get so hung up on the idea of publication: it is the clearest path to accomplish that goal. However, what I am learning is that there are many paths to publication, and not all of those paths require breaking through layers of seemingly intractable gatekeepers that I am becoming less and less interested in trying to please. When I think about continuing on that path, that is when I want to quit, because it just seems like I will never crack that code. But when I think about taking a more active role in my own career, my path to publication, and getting my stories out to the people with whom I want to connect, then I feel excited, motivated, and I write more than ever. So if you are a writer, I would encourage you to ask yourself that question when you are charting your goals for the New Year: Why do you write? And when you think of a path that serves that purpose, what makes you the most excited, the most motivated? Go towards that. I’ll join you on the journey.